You will be better off scheduling in intimacy than skipping it all together, according to the expertsCredit: Getty - Contributor
And it will probably end up being one of the best decisions you could make.
Speaking to Refinery29.com, she said: “Scheduled sex can help the relationship in that both partners know that their sex life is valued.”
That's all well and good, but Dr. Shannon Chavez, PsyD points out that the worst thing you can do is make a sex date and have no plans in place.
So next time you get the chance to boot the kids out and drop them at grannies, make a date in the diary to get down and dirty, but to avoid being disappointed take note of these quick tips from the sexperts themselves.
Firstly, Dr. Chavez suggests setting an intention instead of a goal, so as to avoid performance anxiety. She said: “I would suggest having a setting in mind and intention around connection and play with a partner."
By following these simple steps, scheduled sex could become the best you've ever hadCredit: Getty - Contributor
"Focus more on making time together that is free of distractions, stress, and other barriers" - AKA the kids - "so you can be more receptive to pleasure with your partner.”
Next - hold yourself accountable by setting an alarm and surprising your partner.
Rachel Needle PsyD said: “You could literally set a reminder to wake up tomorrow and initiate sexual activity with your partner… it’s important for couples to make a conscious effort.”
Use the reminders or alarm settings on your phone to book in set time for your partner
If you’re feeling apprehensive about getting under the sheets, Dr. Chavez believes there’s nothing wrong with spelling it out using an erotic menu.
She says: “These items are ideas and activities that can be enjoyed together that are sensual and sexual. It helps clients to think of sex as more than intercourse. It focuses on the concept of play and pleasure.”
She says: “These items are ideas and activities that can be enjoyed together that are sensual and sexual. It helps clients to think of sex as more than intercourse. It focuses on the concept of play and pleasure.”
Too much, too soon? Try writing things down you want to try and putting them in a jar, and pull out one just before your scheduled sex date so you can prepare, Dr. Needle adds.
And on the note of preparing, the experts suggest it’s important to dedicate some time to getting in the mood prior to your session.
Sexting can make the lead-up to your scheduled session part of the fun
She said: “Tell your partner what you are most looking forward to and flirt and tease them leading up to the fun.”
For example, sexting or listening to an erotic podcast or even masturbating.
For example, sexting or listening to an erotic podcast or even masturbating.
“Even when you schedule sex, the build-up and anticipation can be fun and exciting.”
Well, what are you waiting for? Book the babysitter, and get planning...